A Parent’s Most Powerful Chinuch Tool
During the days when our actions are under the microscope and we extend ourselves to gain the maximum merit for our ultimate fate on the High Holy Days, we should focus our attention on one of the most significant responsibilities that HaShem has imposed upon us, chinuch of our children. Each generation is obligated to prepare and train the next generation to be an unbreakable link in an eternal chain. The significance of this mitzvah can be sized up in one phrase, “Talmud Torah K’neged Kulom”- the Mitzvah to learn Torah is equal to all other mitzvot. Hence, our chinuch obligation for Talmud Torah is huge. To this end, I want to share a timely chinuch thought.
One of the mitzvot that is found toward the end of the Torah is the mitzvah of Hakhel. Every seventh year on Sukkot following a shmitah year, the Torah obligates the Nation of Israel, when the Bet HaMikdash is standing, to gather there for the King of Israel to recite sections of the Book of Devarim. The event is meant to instill within the people a greater reverence – Yirat Shamayim. By way of emphasis, the Torah not only states, the reading will be before “All of Israel” it also states, “…Men, women and the small children…”; even the small children should be there. From this emphasis, we glean the great significance of this once-in-seven-year event.
To appreciate the chinuch aspect of Hakhel, we need to understand what this event looked like. I think we can form an image in our mind’s eye due to the annual event of Bircat Kohanim during Sukkot at the Kotel in Yerushalayim. The spectacle of tens of thousands of Jews packed into the Kotel area and the plaza as far back as it goes is an awesome sight. For our mental picture, remove the Cohanim and replace it with a wooden podium, and multiply the crowd by hundreds of thousands more. Standing there in all of his grandeur and royalty is Melech Yisrael – the King of Israel. The King of Israel begins to recite the Book of Devarim clear and loud without the help of a PA system. The Torah states that the gathering was not symbolic, but the men were expected to learn from the recital and the women were expected to listen to it. That means, the adults were expected to stand in their places for an extended period of time concentrating on the keriah – the reading. What about the little children?
The Gemara in Tractate Chagiga asks the question regarding the little children, “why did they come?” The Ramban explained that the Gemara is referring to children who were still very dependent on their parents, too young to understand even if they could hear the King’s recital. The Gemara answers the question and states, the little children were brought in order to provide reward to the parents for bringing them. The Ramban himself suggests that the children in question were actually older, closer to the age of Chinuch, elementary age-6, 7 or 8 years old. The children could actually grow from the experience that would result in the seeds of reverence and awe for HaShem that would take hold within them when they were more mature.
Given the apparent magnitude of the event (its sheer numbers were in itself awesome), the need to concentrate to follow the keriah in order to internalize the words and messages was a tremendous challenge for any adult. To add to the challenge, the parents were obligated to bring their little children and supervise them. We can take away two Chinuch messages from this scenario. According to the Gemara that the children were very young, the parents’ reward for bringing them at that age compensated for the lack of spiritual growth they could have attained if they were able to concentrate more intensively. We learn that the chinuch of impressionistic experiences even for the youngest children at times takes precedence over our own spiritual growth, a value clearly expressed by the Pesach Seder.
According to the Ramban’s explanation that the children were older, they were also unable to really comprehend the messages of Sefer Devarim. Likewise, their learning was mostly experiential and impressionistic. However, the older children were able to be impressed not only by the masses but by the individuals that were around them. Imagine what the faces of the people in the crowd looked like as they were laser focused on every word of the King. The concentration and passion was palpable. Consider that the greatest impression made on each child was his own father or mother. This idea is a powerful take away for us. By requiring parents to bring their children to Hakhel, the Torah is giving us perspective on the most effective chinuch a parent can provide for his child – influencing through action.
We see from the following story that the influence of parents can be for the good or not. Rabbi Nissan Kaplan of the Mir Yeshiva in Yerushalayim said over that one day he was reciting the Bircat HaMazon when his seven-year-old began to vie for his attention. He kept trying to shoo him away so he could finish. As he sat frustrated by the experience trying to strategize how to prevent his child from doing the same thing again, he realized that it was his own shortcoming that caused the child’s disruption. He said that if he would have been concentrating on the words and meaning of the blessings with greater intensity, his child would have sensed that his father was unavailable and left him alone. Rabbi Kaplan’s story reveals that the child not only took his cues from his father’s level of concentration, but he was also influenced to accept that mindless recital of tefillah and blessings is okay. I have personally experienced Rabbi Kaplan’s theory many times.
The message of Hakhel, which is always read on a Shabbat during the High Holiday season, shares an important chinuch message for bringing our children to shul during these days. Consider the potential learning experiences your children could experience. Sanctity of the synagogue, following the order of the service, the role of the chazan, participation in the tefillot and observing their parents all come to mind. Of all these opportunities, Hakhel suggests that children watching their parents practicing their Judaism in a very serious way is perhaps the greatest lesson of all.
G’mar Chatima Tova