An Important Quality for Mechanchim and Parents
At the end of his life, Yaakov Avinu called his sons together to essentially give them brachos that would impact them and their families for eternity. For most of his sons, Yaakov’s words were clearly categorized as blessings, prophesies of greatness both in ruchniut and gashmiut. However, for Levi and Shimon, the prophecies were seemingly the outgrowth of their actions that were clearly not pleasing to Yaakov Avinu. Hence, one has to look carefully at what Yaakov said to these two sons to truly appreciate the eternal blessings that they received.
“…I will divide them up in Yaakov and scatter them in Israel.” Essentially, The two brothers lost their entitlement to their own inheritance in the land of Israel. Living among the other tribes would separate them from themselves. Levi was destined to live in cities throughout Israel dedicated for them. They were to be supported by the tithings and other gifts of sanctity. Shimon’s destiny was to be scattered among the tribes living as poor people and working as scribes and teachers of little children. Although, Levi lost his piece of the holy land, their role in the Mikdash and their compensation from the gifts provided by the Torah compensated and maybe served as a true ”blessing in disguise”. Shimon, on the other hand, seems to have received a “bad deal”.
Perhaps, the prediction that they would become the teachers of little children actually raised their status in the nation of Israel. Chazal call teachers the “Matzdikei HaRabim”, those who were destined to bring generations to righteousness, an awesome task and zechut. In fact, Chazal describe their eternity by comparing them to eternal stars. In that context you can understand the prophecy of being poor and serving as scribes as just as great of a spiritual enhancement as teaching young children.
Regarding the prediction that the tribe of Shimon was destined to be the teachers of little children, HaRav Yaakov Kaminetzky, ZT”L raised a powerful question and drew an awesome lesson from it. How is it, that the family personality of Shimon was conducive for teaching little children? After all, consistent throughout their lives Shimon and Levi displayed a lack of gentleness and an unwillingness to try and understand the other point of view. They recognized wrong doings, either in the case of Shechem or young Yosef’s behaviors and dreams towards his brothers and judged them for death. Should a personality that is so cruel in the name of right and wrong be the appropriate personality to spend one’s life teaching little children? It seems that Chazal guide us away from this type of person, a “kapdan”- someone who lacks patience and an unwillingness to accommodate children’s child-like ways, to cause fear in them, should not be a teacher. The expression that may capture the trait is, “it’s either my way or the highway”.
HaRav Yaakov explained that a deeper analysis of Shimon’s and Levi’s personalities reveal a trait that is actually strongly beneficial for children. Don’t dwell on the anger that they displayed or their cruel plots of murder against seemingly innocent people. Rather, beneath the surface Shimon and Levi were highly principled people. Their behaviors toward Shechem and Yosef were not born out of a natural desire to be cruel and ruthless like the offspring of Yishmael. Rather, they reacted toward others based upon a set of life principles that they were endowed with from their illustrious ancestry. In other words, the key trait that was embedded in these two sons was their willingness to stand by their principles no matter what the ramifications were. This is a very powerful lesson for children to internalize at a young age. Surely, the Benai Shimon were excellent mechanchim who understood how to treat children and care for them. They were not kapdunim. Yet, when it came to being steadfast regarding halacha and the devar HaShem, you wouldn’t find them looking for leniencies and compromises. The talmidim could rely that the Rebbe represented the unadulterated Halacha. As well, do to their adherence to their life’s principles they were consistent in all their actions, and as a result, their talmidim benefitted greatly from their consistency.
Mechanchim and parents who experience significant challenges from the children they work with should begin the analysis of the problem by conducting an internal audit of their own practices and behaviors. A lack of consistency is often at least in part the culprit for children’s improper behaviors and lack of motivation.
Shabbat Shalom