Chanukah: A Time to Reflect on the Influence of the Home
HaRav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz, ZL, spoke extensively about the influences on children and the role of parents and teachers in ensuring their appropriateness.
Regarding the role of parents, he said, the home in general and parents in particular are the main influences on children.
He quoted the source for this outlook from the Gemara at the end of Tractate Sukkah about Miriam Bat Bilga, the daughter of one of the leading priestly families. We are told that Miriam went off the derech by denouncing her faith, intermarrying and publically blaspheming the Holy Service of the Bet HaMikdash. Her parents were blamed for actions and received retribution. Why were they Blamed? Our Sages of Blessed Memory quoted an adage, “the conversations of children in public derive from what they hear their parents talk about. Rashi commented on this situation, had Miriam not heard degrading statements about the Holy Service in the Bet Hamikdash from her father, she never would have said those disparaging remarks nor her heinous actions against the Mizbayach.
A closer look at this story reveals that the setting was during the Greek control of Israel that led up to the events of Chanukah. Miriam and her family were heavily influenced by the foreign culture and became Hellenists. Despite the lofty status of her family, the ways and philosophy of the Greeks seeped into the home and had a damaging influence on the family. How else could you understand that Miriam could have stooped so low. Her evil ways were not just a reaction of some random isolated comment that she overheard expressed in the home. It came most likely from a gradual change in the family values that led to a weakening of the commitment to the ways of HaShem and then religious practice. Although there is no indication that she witnessed publicly or privately by her family members any actions that resembled her heinous behavior of ranting Lucas Lucas (the Greek word for wolf) while she kicked the Mizbayach, never the less we can assume that what she did witness in the home led her to such extreme behaviors.
We should not overlook the timeframe of this event, that it took place during the struggles of Israel against the Greeks and the uprising of the Chashmonayim. In response to the question Chazal ask, “Mai Chanukah”, why is the holiday called by that name, the Maharasha suggests that it comes from the Chanukat HaMizbayach, the rededication of it following the Greek overthrow. In this context, Chanukah comes from the term Chinuch. Rashi in Chumash explains that Chinuch is the dedication or the beginning of a person’s long term relationship to a craft or a vessel to some usage. Hence, we see a clear correlation between Chanukah the holiday and the awesome mitzvah of Chinuch HaBanim. Perhaps, the connection between the story of Miriam Bat Bilga and Chanukah is to underscore the role of parents in the Chinuch of their children. Parents of elementary age children and even beyond should recognize they are the most significant people in their children’s lives.
In this light, HaRav Michel Yehuda encourages parents to focus on three important points with the intent to internalize them if they hope for their children to become committed Torah Jews in their adult lives.
1. Be careful to always express the greatest honor and praise for Torah and Mitzvot.
2. Be careful to always approach Torah and Mitzvah observance and practice with great joy and love
3. Be careful to limit children’s exposure in the home to ideas and outlooks that are very much in concert with the Torah perspective.