Chinuch Lessons From Sinai: An Eternal Paradigm - Part 1
Careful analysis of the Torah’s description of the events at Har Sinai leading up to the giving of the Aseres HaDibros will reveal many insights for transmitting Torah to future generations and the awesome responsibility of Chinuch Habonim. It makes great sense that at this point HaShem would train and prepare Moshe to become Rabeinu, the Rebbe for Klal Yisroel the model for all generations.
In fact, in his first communication with Moshe HaShem provided at least two Chinuch insights. “…Thus you shall say to the Bais Yaakov and you shall tell the Bnei Yisroel”. Rashi explained the statement from the Medresh that the double language to tell the nation is referring separately to the women- thus you shall say to the Bais Yaakov and to the men-and you shall tell the Bnei Yisroel. We find that HaShem insisted on a specific language and approach for the men and the same for the women. The message of differentiating between the genders that it should be a model in chinuch for all times is not only gleaned from the content of the message to each group, but also how it was delivered. HaShem insisted that Moshe speak to the women differently than he would to the men. For the women, a soft approach, whereas for the men, he should communicate in a more stern way.
The message to differentiate when educating and training children appears throughout the Torah. Related to the Pesach Seder the Torah speaks of four distinct sons each one with a unique learning profile. For each, the Torah recommends a different approach in educating them in order to achieve the awesome goal of internalizing the lessons of the Exodus from Egypt.
Of course, we can’t neglect to mention the famous dictum of Shlomo HaMelech, “Chanoch L’Naar Al Pi Darko…” The Chovos HaTalmidim gleaned from this statement an imperative not to teach two children the same thing in the same way. Each child needs to be understood well by his teachers in order to educate him in the most effective and efficient way.
A second chinuch message from the Torah’s words, “…thus you shall say to the Beis Yaakov and you shall tell the Bnei Yisroel” is learned from a powerful question on this pasuk. HaRav Moshe Feinstein, Z”L and others ask why HaShem insisted that Moshe speaks first to the women, “thus you shall say to the Beis Yaakov” and then to the men, “and you shall tell the Bnei Yisroel”. The source of the question stems from women not being obligated in Talmud Torah and being obligated in less Mitzvos than men. Moreover, Chazal instruct us that because women have no obligation to learn Torah they are also not obligated in the chinuch of their children. As the primary group to learn and teach Torah, it makes sense that the men would be addressed first. HaRav Moshe explained, because the chinuch process must begin when children are very young in order that the keeping of Torah and fulfillment of Mitzvos will not be hard for them, it can only happen through mothers who are central to raising children at the tender age range.
An appropriate mashal to describe the chinuch process has filtered down to us. Think of a child as an unformed vessel that ultimately will become filled with Torah. The first step is to form the vessel and then to begin the process of filling it. During the tender years the primary function is to form the vessel, readying it to become a fitting receptacle for Torah. HaRav Moshe explained that the optimum material for forming a superior vessel is a combination of ruchnius and gashmius. Chazal tell us that the mother’s role as the primary “builder” of the child is until the age of five, at which time he is handed over to a rebbe or morah to begin phase two, the school-parent partnership.
This paradigm gives us reason to look more closely at the process to clarify the role of each partner and to better understand how the paradigm functions in our generation when children leave the home well before the age of five. Regarding the partnership, HaRav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch explained that when the child is handed over to the school the parent function does not end. It means, that while the school begins the process of filling the vessel, the vessel is not necessarily completed and requires continual building until around the age of nine. The obvious assumption is that the partners fulfill their responsibility separately, the rebbe in the Yeshiva and mother and father at home. To some extent, that’s an accurate assumption in our time and most likely reflected to a much greater extent the format of previous generations. However, this thought segues into the other point requiring examination. How does the parent-school partnership function in our generation when the year’s of formalized schooling begins when a child is just three years old, and sometimes even younger?
Suffice to say, in order for the eternal paradigm to remain intact to ensure that the chinuch process functions as it is intended, the early childhood programs need to fulfill much of the mother’s role, developing the vessel. As well, when the age of partnership begins, about five years old and extends to the age of nine, the school in this scenario continues to function in a dual capacity, filling the vessel and sharing in its final stages of development.
As parents contemplate schooling for their children, I believe it’s essential that they consider the Torah’s chinuch paradigm and which schools are stepping up in the parent role both in the early childhood and early elementary years.
Just to close on another reflection of our mashal. So long as the vessel is not finished the content that is poured in is not always likely to remain completely inside.