Fight or Flight: A Natural Human Response
Yaakov Avinu left his home in Beer Sheva to travel to Charan upon the request/command of his parents for two reasons, to hide away from his angry brother Eisav who harbored a deep desire to kill him and to find a wife for himself in the house of Lavan. Chazal explain the narrative of his journey that upon arrival to Charan he realized that in route he passed Har HaMoriya and unlike his father and grandfather before him, he failed to stop there to daven. As a result of Yaakov’s great desire to daven in the future makom hamikdash, HaShem caused the ground underneath him to literally carry him to the place in order to fulfill the mitzvah.
Chazal ask the obvious question, how was it possible for Yaakov to have traveled pass the holiest place in the world and not have stopped. This feeling was apparent by his reaction when he arrived at Charan, because he said, “ is it possible that I could have passed that place where my fathers davened and I didn’t stop to daven? The question is enhanced, it’s more than just not being cognizant of such an awesome place, a place where he likely thought about daily much like we think of the Kosel, but it calls into question Yaakov’s very makeup. We are told that even in mother’s womb, he reacted aggressively when she passed a holy place. Why didn’t his neshama rail to get out of the body as he approached Har HaMoriyah?
Mefarshim want to say that this situation has to be understood in the context that Yaakov was escaping for his life. He was fleeing from Eisav who had sworn to kill him. In that light, you can understand his action of passing by the makom hamikdash either because he was afraid to stop or he was so caught it in fear that he was oblivious to his surroundings. Both explanations support our understanding of the power of fear on a human being. When the human is confronted by danger our instinct for survival draws all of our energy, focus, skill and talent on the threat. So much so, that even the desire to visit a place that has a great emotional attachment is subdued by the fear of danger. Also, on the subconscious/ruchnius realm like in the case of Yaakov Avinu and makomos hakadoshim, level, the instinct to be drawn to them becomes temporarily squelched.
Understanding fear is important for anyone who is concerned with the motivation of others at home, in the work place or in school. Usually when we think about motivation the consideration is for what helps to motivate. It’s also essential that we consider what stifles motivation. In schools we talk about the motivating classroom environment. Is the atmosphere promoting learning and growth or are there detractors? One of the well-known classroom detractors is fear. There are children in every class who potentially find reasons to be afraid and as a result their productivity and happiness is stifled much like Yaakov Avinu. Two common interrelated scenarios are fear of failure or making a mistake and fear of being bullied. In both scenarios children are afraid of ridicule, torment and physical threats. They impact the classroom, recess and social settings.
As educators, we should approach this concern in two ways. We need to know our classroom environment, (i.e. know our students) to determine if there is an atmosphere of safety and security for all students. Secondly, if we find that personalities in the classroom threaten the safety and security of others, a middos training program should be employed to enhance students’ empathy, tolerance and self-gratification. For the sake of all students, educators should approach this situation as moral imperative.
A gut Shabbos