Joy in Adar: What’s The Priority Message For The Children?
Purim is one of the great highlights for children in the Jewish calendar. Dress-up, receiving mountains of goodies, festive atmosphere with dancing and singing and adults acting funny are activities which are experiential and impressionistic. Then there are the deeper more important messages which filter through when they bang upon hearing the name of Haman, accompanying their parents to hand out shaloch manot, watching their parents give tzedakah to groups of teenage collectors and a festive meal replete with words of Torah and joyous song. Also, in many communities there is a program called Mordechai Tzadik, which is a dedicated hour of the day for Tinokot Shel Bet Raban, children learning Torah to remember that Mordechai inspired the redemption by teaching the children during the most difficult of times.
The Rambam makes a strong recommendation that the priority of the day is Matanot L’evyonim, the distribution of gifts to the poor and those who are unfortunately disadvantaged. The Rambam’s words are worth seeing and internalizing.
It is preferable for a person to increase in his giving gifts to the poor than to be more lavish in his Purim feast and in sholach manot. For there is no greater and more splendid joy than to gladden the hearts of the poor, the orphans, the widows and the converts. One who brings joy to these unfortunate people resembles the Divine Presence…
The Rambam is telling us that the greatest impact on our Holy Souls, there is no greater and more splendid joy than to gladden the hearts of those who are disadvantaged; and those who do are comparable to His Divine Presence.
The Rambam’s eternal message places responsibility on parents to imbue in their children the importance of this mitzvah, and that it should not get lost in the festivities of the day. Unless parents make a BIG DEAL about gifts to the poor, children will generally overlook it because of the glitzier Purim activities which are bound to grab their attention.
Here are a few suggestions to help your children internalize this message.
1. In the same way that significant time and effort are invested in the mitzvot of Shaloch Manot and the Purim Seuda, so too, quality time should be invested in matanot l’evyonim
2. If you are giving to an organization to distribute the gifts, share with your children information about it and who they are distributing to. Look for an organization that appeals to children through their video and other materials. You can prepare and share with your children in the days leading up to Purim.
3. If you are giving to someone in the community who is distributing, have him provide some general information about who are his recipients. Ask him to speak directly to your children.
4. If you are distributing yourself, then it’s important to share with your children to whom you are giving to and your emotions around this great mitzvah.
5. If you know someone who falls into the category of needing these gifts, you can fulfill the mitzvah by inviting him or her to your seuda. This person should be someone who you invite yearly and maybe have a relationship with. Eventually, your children will understand his life predicament and your efforts will make a lasting impression.
6. You should share the Rambam’s message as early as the children can understand it and demonstrate, if possible, how you are fulfilling it.
7. Just as you let your children know who the Torah scholars in the community are, inform them and impress upon them as well the greatness of individuals who are true baalei tzedakah.
8. In general, Purim is a day of tzedakah beyond the mitzvah of gifts to the poor, so you should point out to them the work in the community to full this great mitzvah.
As you plan your children’s spiritual pursuits as part of their chinuch, consider their destiny and remember what the Rambam wrote, “and those who are comparable to His Divine Presence.”
Purim Samayach