Lessons for the Children of Yaakov

Yaakov Avinu left his home in Beer Sheva to travel to Charan upon the request/command of his parents for two reasons, to hide away from his angry brother Eisav who harbored a deep desire to kill him and to find a wife for himself in the house of Lavan. Chazal explain the narrative of his journey that upon arrival to Charan he realized that in route he passed Har HaMoriya and unlike his father and grandfather before him, he failed to stop there to daven.  As a result of Yaakov’s great desire to daven in the future makom hamikdash, HaShem caused the ground underneath him to literally carry him to the place in order to fulfill the mitzvah.

Chazal ask the obvious question, how was it possible for Yaakov to have traveled pass the holiest place in the world and not have stopped. This feeling was apparent by his reaction when he arrived at Charan, because he said, “ is it possible that I could have passed that place where my fathers davened and I didn’t stop to daven? The question is enhanced, it’s more than just not being cognizant of such an awesome place, a place where he likely thought about daily much like we think of the Kosel, but it calls into question Yaakov’s very makeup. We are told that even in mother’s womb, he reacted aggressively when she passed a holy place. Why didn’t his neshama rail to get out of the body as he approached Har HaMoriyah?

A powerful explanation can be gleaned by the Torah’s outlook toward honoring parents. We find that Yaakov’s unflinching willingness to listen to his parents by placing himself into two precarious situations, earned him the reputation as a paragon in kibud av v’aim. He agreed to disguise himself as his brother in order to receive the Berachos from Yitzchak Avinu and to travel to Charan, to his uncle Lavan to find a wife.

Regarding the later, Yaakov understood the imperative to travel immediately and directly to Charan. In fact, his absence from his parents was closely scrutinized. Each day that he was gone Yaakov paid dearly in his relationship with his beloved son Yosef. Chazal tell us, that the twenty-two painful years of Yosef’s separation from his father Yaakov corresponded to the years that he was apart from Yitzchak and Rivka.

In that light, Yaakov went straight to Charan and refused to stop for even a brief period of time at the Makom HaMikdash to daven. There is an obvious question that comes to mind. Chazal tell that in the calculation of the years that Yaakov was away from his parents, there is a discrepancy. There are fourteen extra years to account for. Chazal conclude that these were the years that Yaakov cloistered himself in Yeshivas Shem v’Ever in order to prepare himself through the teachings of his ancestors of the d’var HaSHem for the dangers of galus. As a result, those extra years were not calculated in the total time that he was separated from his parents and held against him for not fulfilling the Mitzvah of honoring them. Therefore, why wouldn’t Yaakov stop for a brief time to daven at the Holiest place in the world, which would surely have been calculated in the time period for preparing for galus.

Perhaps we can understand Yaakov’s decision not to stop because he calculated that the zechus of honoring parents superseded the merit for davening in the Makom HaMikdash. The decision for stopping at Yeshivas Shem v’Ever on the other hand, benefitted him not only with the zechus of the Mitzvah but also the knowledge and understanding of HaShem’s ways that would help him navigate throughout his years in galus. However, in the end, Yaakov went back to the Bais HaShem because he realized the importance of pleading for Siyata D’Shmaya in preparation for the dangerous years that lie ahead.

There are many important messages embedded in the stories of Yaakov Avinu in his role as the Av of Galus. All of them are very necessary to impart well to our children. Torah, Tefillah, honoring parents, galus and that we are the offspring of Yaakov, are some of the eternal lessons for our progeny. For the adults, we must not forget that we are in galus and how awfully important chinuch is for our survival