The Power and Importance of Doing Chessed

As Avraham Avinu was convalescing from bris milah he found himself in a spiritual dilemma. Chazal tell us that HaShem paid him a visit, He role modeled the Mitzvah of bikur cholim. Just at that time three wayfarers approached his tent and the strong desire to fulfill the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim gripped him. Avraham Avinu responded by begging HaShem not to leave as he hobbled toward the travelers to encourage them to accept his offer of hospitality. Based on his decision and HaShem’s implied agreement with it, Chazal say, “greater is the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim than greeting the Presence of HaShem.

Avraham’s choice seems to be counterintuitive. Given the ultimate goal of man in this world, clearly Avraham’s life outlook, to come as close to HaShem as possible, there is no greater growth experience for the neshama than to be in the presence of its Creator.

 From a question raised by HaRav Yaakov Kamenetzky, Z”L, we can better understand Avraham Avinu’s decision and subsequent actions. How can Chazal establish an eternal precept based on a mistake? Avraham Avinu thought the wayfarers were humans, but actually they were angles who don’t indulge in physical pleasures. Hence, Avraham Avinu never fulfilled the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim because his guests were not in need of anything. HaRav Yaakov answered that the essential purpose for reaching out to others by inviting them in for home hospitality is to show them honor and respect. Therefore, through his invitation Avraham Avinu honored the angles and thereby fulfilled the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim.

 HaRav Meshulem Dovid Soloveitchick, Shlita, concluded in a similar vein on an associated insight from a comment that Rashi made. He quoted Chazal’s statement that Avraham Avinu did not serve his guests bread since Sarah was ritually unclean on that day and her dough was rendered tamei. Avraham Avinu had accepted upon himself the stringency to only eat ritually clean food even though it was unconsecrated and not necessary.

Harav Soloveitchick inferred from his behavior a profound lesson concerning the manner and extent to which one should endeavor to fulfill the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim. The host needs to honor and respect his guests by making every effort for him to feel like a member of the family. This is accomplished in part by providing the accommodations they are accustomed to and according to the same standards as the host family.

 Now we understand that Avraham Avinu made the choice of honoring three angles who he thought were mortal non-believers in HaShem instead of greeting the presence of HaShem. Avraham Avinu’s choice is compatible with an exceptional practice by Raban Yochanan Ben Zakai as recorded in the Gemarah Berachot. In his adult lifetime, he never failed to greet someone before that person greeted him first, even a gentile in the market place. This is such a powerful practice because it leads to a person becoming endeared to everyone due to the honor that he bestowed upon them through this effort. In fact, Rav Masna taught this practice as a din for all time.

The Mahrasha in his commentary on Raban Yochanan Ben Zakai’s exceptional practice states that through his consistent actions towards everyone he experienced what Rebbe Chanina Ben Dosa said about people like him. “If people are truly pleased (find him beloved and widely accepted) with him, then HaShem is truly pleased with him.” If he is beloved in this world, it’s a guarantee that he is beloved in the heavens.

 This philosophy was Avraham Avinu’s reasoning in his decision to reach out to the travelers instead of remaining in his tent to greet HaShem. He concluded that the spiritual gain for himself was at least just as great in fulfilling the Mitzvah of hachnasat orchim as it would be to experience the Presence of HaShem. In his mind, given the calculation on the spiritual outcome, he followed his deep desire to do chesed as much and often as possible.

 During this time of year, when we read the parshiot of Avraham’s life, great emphasis should be placed on the chesed he performed in general and the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim in particular, and rightly so. For our children, these stories will contribute to setting the foundation in their hearts of a lifetime relationship with one of the pillars of yehadut.

 In this light, parents and teachers need to consider the contribution to the mitzvah of acts of chesed made by Raban Yochanan Ben Zakai. In truth, promoting the practice of being Makdim Shalom can bear greater fruit in instilling the values of kindness because it’s easier for children to perform it and can be performed literally all of the time. Furthermore, many of us recognize the challenge children face in learning to give each other simple greetings as well as the adults in their lives. Children need training in this important social norm.  

 As I walk around town trying in my little way to show kindness, I recognize that many are either uncomfortable or uninterested in Raban Yochanan’s stellar habit or who have not been guided in their youth to the importance of greeting people. In fact, Chazal saw this practice as being so important to imbuing a person with good middot, derech eretz and ahavat yisrael, that they established anyone not responding to someone who greets him as having robbed him. He’s called a gazlan. This idea speaks volumes as to the importance of greeting someone and the significant emotional benefit to the recipient.